Some Presidential humor

A bit of 1996-style election-time poetry, for your enjoyment. Absurdism somehow seems particularly relevant in the face of the current state of the McCain campaign.

Bob Dole wants to make this
country great again, but I say no. This country
has tried being great, and it
has failed. I want to make this country small,
embarrassed, slightly befuddled. I
want this country to hum to itself as it cleans
its glasses. I want this country to try hopelessly
to learn to play the tuba. I want this country to
watch Jeopardy! every day and get most of the
answers right. I want this country to mumble,
to be shy, to give a limp handshake, to
go days without combing its hair, to
have bad breath. I want this country to
smile again, awkwardly, while carrying a book.
And I will beat that fucker Dole, with his war
stories and his "courage." Who needs courage?
Courage is for cowards. I have something greater
than courage. I am a failure.

-- Sparrow, "Why I Can Beat Bob Dole"